- 1
Asbestos I Can
Early's addiction to asbestos hats gives him a terminal disease, and the Sheriff decides to let Early have his last wishes granted.
- 2
Class of '86
The 25-year high school reunion rolls around. Dan Halen forces the Sheriff to keep Early from the party (as he dropped out in second grade), while the Sheriff begins to have flashbacks to Dan Halen's bullying.
- 3
Velvet Messiah
Early steals granny's picture of Jesus and pretends to be him by hiding behind the picture while telling people what to do.
- 4
Big E
Early attacks and nealy kills a radio announcer that upsets him. He ends up taking the announcers job and takes the title "Big E". He ends up losing the job when the announcer gets out of the hospital and shoots him in the face during a book signing.
- 5
Keeping It in the Family Way
Rusty finds a girlfriend and has sex for the first time. Early, infatuated with Rusty's girlfriend, becomes upset to and tries to break them up. Rusty later finds out that he is going to be a father and comes looking for her only to find that she has run away to be with her mother. He finds her and discovers that they are cousins.
- 6
Snow Daddy
Rusty forms a bond with a magical snowman who sheds doubt on Early's parenting skills.
- 7
Ballmart
Sheriff hires Granny and Early as greeters in Dan Halen's new Ball Mart super store.
- 8
The Pharaoh's Wad
Early becomes addicted to a video poker machine.
- 9
The Return of Gaga Pee Pap
A terminally ill GaGa returns to make peace with his family before death, and "get them again" one more time.
- 10
Trucked Up!
After being challenged on his knowledge of trucking by Rusty, Early recounts his time as The Scrambler, a rebel trucker who took on trucking runs that "couldn't be done" for Dan Halen running toxic waste from Dougal County to Paris.