Cast
- Mickey Benson as Sallie Mae Assassin 1
- Mark Eicher as Mark
- Corey J. Feldman as Priest of Crêpe
- Corey J. Feldman as Trumpeter 1
- Grant Gordon as Grant
- Grant Gordon as Trumpeter 2
- Sophie Hays as Sophie
- Michael Hotwagner as Bloody Michael
- Justin James as Justin
- Becca Kaplan as Becca
- Leslie Krotman as Token Celebrity
- Leslie Krotman as Sad Song Singer
- Sophia Kuehl as Sophia
Crew
- Corey J. Feldman · Writer
- Grant Gordon · Writer
- Gessica Lesser · Writer
- Adam Maid · Writer
- Jess Vogel · Producer
- Darin Quan · Composer
- Mike Varley · Composer
- Darin Quan · Cinematographer
- Darin Quan · Editor
- Mike Varley · Editor
- Mike Varley · Production designer