Season 3
22 episodes · 2001
In this hilarious third season, the Griffin family faces all-new dilemmas, including Brian's unintentional foray into directing porn, Stewie's rants on national TV, Meg's date with a nudist and Lois' Yuletide insanity. Meanwhile, Peter is surprised to discover Lois was once a groupie, and his son, Chris, is more "endowed" than he is.
1The Thin White Line (1)
Brian's keen sense of smell gets him a job with the police department.
2Brian Does Hollywood (2)
Brian's first job in Hollywood is directing a pornographic film.
3Mr. Griffin Goes to Washington
The tobacco industry sends Peter to Washington to present a speech about smoking.
4One If by Clam, Two If by Sea
When a hurricane strikes Quohog, everything is destroyed including The Drunken Clam, which is bought out by a Brit who turns it into an English pub. As it happens, pub owner Nigel Pinchley and his family move in next door to the Griffins, and Stewie tries to teach Nigel's Cockney-accented 3-year-old daughter how to speak proper English.
5And the Wiener Is...
Peter joins a gun club to compensate for his lack of physical assets; Meg becomes the target of the "cool" gang's wrath.
6Death Lives
After a near-death experience on his anniversary, Peter learns the importance of spending time with Lois.
7Lethal Weapons
New Yorkers invade the town in the fall; Lois hones her martial-arts skills.
8The Kiss Seen Around the World
Meg lands an internship working with the school nerd at a television station.
9Mr. Saturday Knight
Peter decides to pursue his dream career as a knight.
10Fish Out of Water
When Peter decides to become a fisherman, he takes out a large loan to buy a fishing boat and unwittingly gives up everything he owns as collateral.
11Emission Impossible
Lois' pregnant sister inspires her and Peter to have another baby.
12To Love and Die in Dixie
The Griffins are put into the witness protection program.
13Screwed the Pooch
Peter and Lois go to the Pewterschmidts for the weekend, bringing Brian along. Brian, meanwhile, has some "issues" of his own to work out. Find out if Brian's future is to make puppies or become "less" than he is.
14Peter Griffin: Husband, Father... Brother?
While trying to teach Chris about his Irish roots, Peter stumbles upon Nate Griffin, a black man in his family tree. Peter tries to embrace his new-found heritage, but can't quite get the hang of it. When Lois' father, Carter Pewtershmidt, sits the Griffin kids down for a look at his family genealogy, a dark secret is uncovered.
15Ready, Willing, and Disabled
Joe gets discouraged, losing his self-confidence, after he loses a thief in a chase. Peter wants to help Joe get back to his old self so he volunteers to help train him for the decathlon at the Olympics for handicapped athletes. Peter puts steroids into Joe's drink, pushing Joe on to victory. Meanwhile, Stewie, Meg, and Chris fight over $26.
16A Very Special Family Guy Freakin' Christmas
Christmas comes to Quahog! While Lois attempt to make the holidays perfect for the Griffin family, Peter messes it up. Meanwhile, Stewie learns of Santa Claus' ability to keep 24-hour surveillance on all the world's children.
17Brian Wallows and Peter's Swallows
Brian is sentenced to care for a crabby old woman; Peter's beard becomes a home for birds.
18From Method to Madness
Stewie attempts a career in show business; Meg dates a nudist.
19Stuck Together, Torn Apart
Peter's jealously forces a trial separation; Stewie and Brian get glued together.
20Road to Europe
Stewie goes to England to take refuge in his favorite television show, while Lois embarrasses Peter at a KISS concert.
21Family Guy Viewer Mail #1
Viewer mail inspires three stories in which Peter loses his bones, the Griffins gain superpowers, and Peter and his friends appear as eight-year-old "Little Rascals."
22When You Wish Upon a Weinstein
The day that Peter buys volcano insurance is the day that Lois becomes fed up with their constant money problems.