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Unaired Pilot
1Hate Crime Legislation is for Pussies
Jimmy and Cheech take Petey to a boxing gym to "learn a few moves". After Petey enters a real fight, McCool warns Jimmy the publicity could put their witness protection in jeopardy.
2The Full Mountie
McCool takes on extra jobs to pay back a gambling debt to Jimmy.
3Screw You, Mr. Wonderful
Jimmy becomes jealous when Petey befriends a wealthy businessman. Gina convinces Theresa to pose as her mother to collect a baby bonus check.
4The Man With No Ass
Jimmy and McCool compete to prove who is the better man. Petey seeks Theresa's advice to get girls.
5Cousin Sammy Dies in the End
When the mob orders a hit on Jimmy's cousin, he arranges for him to join him in witness protection in Saskatchewan.
6Rainbows and Painted Hos
Cookie throws Jimmy out after his insensitivity crosses a line. Gina reacts with anger when her siblings won't play with her.
7Chokin' and Tokin' in the Queen City
After a near-death experience, Jimmy becomes a vigilante to make up for his past bad deeds.
8Al Capone Wears Ladies Underwear
Jimmy and Cheech take Gina to nearby Moose Jaw to search for Al Capone's hidden vault. Theresa is rejected by a blind classmate who can't see how hot she is.
9Petey Gets God'd
Petey discovers God when Jimmy sets him up with a hooker.
10The Oracle of Vagina
Jimmy helps Cookie open a fortune-telling business, then has to make all her "predictions" come true.
11The Horny Bastard
Jimmy opens Regina's first strip joint, but is shocked when his daughter starts working there as a stripper.
12Sex on Ice
Cookie starts to think Jimmy is cheating on her when he's actually pursuing a career as a masked ice-sculptor called "Jinksy".
13Hunts With Handgun
After Cheech insults a Native American, Jimmy and Cheech go to a cultural sensitivity seminar. Cookie forces Gina to join Field Girls to show up a snobby neighbor.